Wednesday, January 28, 2009

To have a sister or not to have a sister?

Dad got home before Mom did last night. That struck me as weird since Mom is always home before Dad is. Unless she goes to "Curves". (I don't know what that means, does she twirl her arms around, and make shapes with her body? Curves doesn't make much sense to me...)

When mom finally got home, we played on the floor which is just as much fun as fun can be. Since we have so much snow on the ground (not to mention more that's falling outside my window right now) we had to play in the house. Running up and down the stairs. Throwing toys back and forth. Sometimes we scare the fish because the aquarium is in the corner by the staircase.

You would think that the fish would get used to Mom and I playing on the steps. Sometimes, since Mom doesn't have very good aim, she throws the toy and it hits the front of the fishes house. They always hide from us when we play on the stairs.

Come to think about it, they hide whenever we walk past them.

Dad on the other hand walks by and they all come out to greet him. Mom thinks it has something to do with the fact that Dad feeds them. If that theory holds true, then since Mom always feeds me, its only reasonable that I love her most. Right?

While dad was heating up dinner last night mom opened Artichoke's (my pet-bird sister) front door to her house and she came out to play for a while. It seems that Artichoke and I don't get along like I think we should.

I would never hurt her, I mean, she cornered me in the kitchen last week and told me "how it was gonna be". (Yes, I might be 31 pounds and she might be about 3 ounces, but honestly, she packs a wallop in her beak!)

Anyway, 'Choke came out of her house and I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to play with her so badly!! Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a brother or sister in the house to play with at times. You know, like another one of me- not as cute, of course, but another dog.

It CANNOT, I repeat CANNOT be a cat. I'm still suffering from my last visit with Kitty the evil cat. I like the idea of having a sibling, maybe a sister? However, there would have to be a list of requirements:

1- She cannot be a boy, I need a sister- not a brother
2- Since my name is Jack, her name must be Jill (thankfully we live in Ohio, so there aren't too many hills by us)
3- She cannot be nippy, pee in the house, steal my toys or snuggle near mom
4- She cannot whine more than I do
5- She cannot sleep anywhere near my mom- dad she can have
6- She cannot come upstairs, unless its to play with me
7- She cannot come on the "guest bed" (which is really MY bed) because its mine- that is my window to the front of the house, so I can protect everyone. This is a duty that I refuse.
8- I don't know how to share EVERYTHING, so she must be willing to understand at times I'm selfish, especially when it comes to attention
9- She must come potty trained. I cannot teach her everything, and since mom did such a good job with me, why start from the beginning again?
10- She has to accept of my list of requirements, otherwise, she's OUTTA HERE!

Maybe I should just stay a single puggle forever.

I mean, really, I entertain myself well. I already have a perfectly broken-in couch cushion. I have parents who love and adore me. A sister (Artichoke) who I sometimes get along with (I think she's scared of my size, but I'm scared of her attitude!!)

Yes, you know what- I don't want a sister.

Dad says I have too many toys, but if I got a sister, then there would be DOUBLE the amount of toys since I enjoy all of mine by myself. Yes, no need for a sister.

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