Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Scratchy McScratcherson

Do you suffer from allergies? 'Cause I do. And lemme tell you what- they are in FULL swing right now. I've had allergies for as long as my lil' puggle brain lets me remember, which flair up in the summer. Each year. Like clock work. Mom says I'm allergic to "everything". Aunt Jessica says I'm "allergic to being a dog" and my doctor (who specializes in pet allergies) says I'm "allergic to June, July, August and most of September".

No bueno.

So I'm on a constant allergy pill that I get a double dose of when I'm extra itchy. Like I am now. Well, to help my scratchy nature, mom gives me (what she calls, "soothing" baths) to help cool down and calm down my skin. Know what I like most about my baths? The cookies that come before and after the bath. Mom always takes the bubbles and makes a mohawk on my head with them...which I'm sure I look awesome with, but she never has a mirror handy so I can see- so I just feel stoopid.

Anyway the other day mom gave me one of her soothing baths. But before she did she used the Furminator on me. Ever heard of it? Well, lemme tell you- it makes me feel like a million bucks! Its a hair brush but it pulls out all the under coat, leaving just my super shiny coat for all to look at and make other dogs jealous! After mom pulls it through my coat, she pushes a little button, eliminating the "yuck" (as she calls it). Looks like this when its all piled together:See, I have hair bright and golden hair just like Goldie Locks! haha

Anyway, since the whole purpose of the "soothing" bath is to not irritate my skin anymore, mom lets me air dry. Which means I first get a cookie (for being such a good boy and letting her do the mohawk thing) then I run around like a madman. Its so much fun! But first she wanted me to pose. Whatever mom. Can I run noooooooooow?Once I was dry I got back into scratching. Why? Because it feels SOOOOOO good. Well, that was a no bueno move for mom, and she put the cone of shame on me! (See, I might have forgotten to mention this, but I *might have scratched my muzzle so hard earlier in the day, causing myself to bleed and look like I got into a dog fight...which may or may not have been the reason behind giving me the bath in the first place...whatever. Details...) Mom said I "needed" the cone of shame. But I feel so stoopid in it. Thankfully I was able to talk mom into taking it off when we went on our walks. I didn't want the neighborhood dogs seeing me in such a pitiful state.(See that green thing under the cone of shame? That's my "bowtie")

Worst part about wearing the cone of shame?I couldn't stick my head into the toy basket to pull out any toys! Epic fail.

So you might be wondering why the title of this post is Scratchy McScratcherson...that's what dad calls me when I'm itchy. Cute, hu?

Friday, August 26, 2011

(wo)man's best friend

One of the many reasons I asked mom to start this blog with me was to have a feel good website out there. So many are doom and gloom and sad and make you want to cry- mom and I (especially) wanted to make a website dogs (and their owners, of course) could come to and say, "awww".

So I'm poking around on Facebook (no, I don't have my own profile yet- I share with mom) and I see a post from my cousin Diva's mom, Heather.

Here, read it. Then come back.

Ok, you read it? Yeah...isn't that powerful? I mean, talk about devotion and love between friends. Some people (typically those who don't have a pet) say things like, "oh, its just a dog" or "its just a cat"...but here's the thing, the bond between pet and owner is immeasurable. Its infinite. And, for those of you out there who share a bond with your pet like I do with mom (or like they do in the story I posted)...give your pet a little extra loving tonight to show how much you care. Throw the ball once more for them or give an extra treat.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

What the?

**Let me first start by saying this post is about using a bark collar (or "shock collar") on Jack. We did NOT come to this decision lightly and if you are considering using a bark collar on your dog, use it RESPONSIBLY. **

I have some issues you may have heard about before. When animals come on to the television, I bark, UH-LOT. Why? Because I think they are IN my house...and I have to protect MY house, so I bark. Before mom and dad put the television up high, I used to run around the sides of the tv to chase elephants out of sight. (Or penguins, polar bears, cats, dogs, name it, I barked at it.)

This issue never seemed like a big deal, so mom and dad always corrected my behavior (but I still did it. Either I have short term memory problems or I just don't care- if I see an animal in my house, I'm going to protect my house.)

Well, that isn't my only "issue". You see, when people come into MY house (like my grandparents, Aunt Caitlin- anyone) I use this high pitched bark/squeal to greet them with. Mom and dad say its "annoying" and "disruptive" and "bad behavior". This too they try and correct my behavior, but I'm- "stubborn".

Two weeks ago, mom was in the kitchen, dad was upstairs and I was on the couch relaxing, when all of a sudden, CAT! I jumped off the couch, barked like a mad man, and got yelled at. Bad. Mom was NOT happy with this.

(*Mom note, before this cat incident, we had been debating the bark collar- but seeing the reaction to the cat commercial made it clear in my mind what step needed to be taken.)

The next day mom came home with a new treat for me! What's in the bag mom?! WHAT'S IN THE BAAAAAAG????? Ooooh, a new collar! I LOVE getting new collars!

I wore my new collar with pride. Walking extra slow in front of mirrors- you know the drill. I looked gooooooood.

Then it happened. A dog commercial came on. I jumped down, got in position in front of the tv and BAAA- OUCH! What the heck was that?! I shook it off.


Clearly there is something wrong with this collar! I got scared and ran to mom's side and hid behind her legs. For about 15 minutes.

This process repeated itself each time an animal commercial came on. How. WEIRD?! Until, finally the other night, I saw the commercial and didn't want to bark at it. I just sat there. I wasn't happy, but I just sat there and let that cat purr because its litter was so clean and fantastic and I just watched. I was disgusted with myself.

Mom told dad about this and they high fived! Its like an evil plot against me.

And then when grandma walked in I went to give my typical greeting (the bark/squeal) and only got BAA- out before I felt like I was kicked in the throat. Grandma seemed to like this though; she said "good boy Jack! Nice to see you too!"...I am beginning to think there is something to this new collar. People seem to like me MORE when I'm wearing it.

Mom and dad call my new collar my Bow-Tie. Cute name for a high-tech collar, eh? I wear it well...